Archive for ‘motherhood’

February 15, 2018

We are family!

by mendibpng

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Noah, Jacob, Ellie, Me and Jenny Beth, Feb 2012

I’ve often written about expat life and the hardships that come along with this life style. However, this post is not about hardships. It’s about community and how people have circled up to help the kids and me. Ben has been gone for two weeks now, and still has two more to go. He is consultant checking the books of James and Mark in nine languages, while I have stayed here at Ukarumpa with the kids as it was too soon after furlough to put our teens in the hostel and take the little ones out for a village stay.

I haven’t had a chance to feel overwhelmed or lonely or sorry for myself because our community has been here for me. From phone calls checking in, offers of childcare and meals, help with fixing our dog run, to the chief helicopter pilot arranging for Ben to make it back a week early in time for Noah’s play, the feeling of being part of a community has really made these two weeks go by quickly. I am not saying that everything is easy, but I am grateful for all of the little and big things that people do for me. I am a fairly independent person and it’s not easy to accept help. However, in doing so, I remember how much joy it gives me when I am able to help out a friend. And so the circle of giving keeps going here, over and over, time and time again. All of us expats are separated from relatives in our home countries and so part of the thriving happens when we stand in for parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I know that this is a treasure I sometimes take for granted but for today (and hopefully future ones), I am full of gratitude.

Furthermore, I am grateful for the people whose jobs directly impact me and my family. These hardworking  missionaries and Papua New Guineans are running the schools, flying and fixing aircraft, fixing computers, stocking the store, keeping our internet running (oh how wonderful it was to talk to my college aged son yesterday!!) arranging for visas and passport renewals, and countless other jobs. All of these people are here to see the work of Bible translation going on in Papua New Guinea. So thank you from our family, and from the people of the Aitape West for your service.

I can’t finish here without mentioning our partners, friends and family back home. When I think about the host of people who are keenly invested in our work and in the lives of the other missionaries here, it is overwhelming.  You are an important part of the picture, so thank you.

The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance. 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 

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February 6, 2018

Shifting

by mendibpng

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(above) Ben and 2 year old Ellie.

Ben has left for Arop village, where he is consultant checking James and Mark with our teammate John. Since we only arrived back in PNG three weeks ago, I decided to stay here with the kids. It always takes a little distance from Ben to realize how much we do together and how much I rely on him for daily things. For instance, he always puts our twins to bed, ever since they were babies. I also rely on him to calmly talk through an episode where one of the kids is “cracking it” (a helpful phrase I picked up from my Aussie friends) Yesterday after a minor altercation with her brother, Jenny Beth declared she was NOT going to school. I had forgotten in that moment that Ben was gone and was about to call for him, and realized that this was my job to handle.  Thankfully we were able to talk and pray together, and she was fine with going to school. I don’t know if I would have realized that if Ben were still here because my instinct is to let him handle the big conflicts because he’s so good at it, and ….let’s just be honest, it’s hard and unpredictable and messy.

I have had a lifetime of pushing down negative emotions for fear that at some point, they will take over and I’ll really crack it. It’s a conditioning that I learned in childhood to keep going on no matter how many things came at me. Last week before Ben left, I realized that I didn’t want to always keep being the good soldier. I don’t always want to live in fear of other people’s expectations or measuring myself against their moral muscle (see Romans 8 below). I want to be able to say that I’m struggling without feeling like it’s a weakness. I want to admit that yes, I do need my husband and partner especially in the area of parenting our five children. I want to embrace the true freedom of walking in the Spirit. I have found a lot of freedom in this shifting, admitting I can’t do it all on my own, and knowing there’s a Father who knows exactly what I’m going through. I love the way The Message puts this,

Romans 8:5-8
 Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored.

I love this whole chapter and urge you to read it for yourself, but here’s another couple of verses that stood out to me,

Romans 8:12-17
So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children.

It’s not a grave-tending life. Amen!

November 5, 2013

My chains are gone…Amazing Grace!

by mendibpng

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I found myself praying this morning that God would help me become humble and reliant on Him amidst the chaos that I’m juggling. I often feel like I am not adequate for the tasks in front of me: missionary, wife, teammate, friend, and mother of five. They all seem to all be vying for space in my heart and mind.  In his book, “A Praying Life,” Paul Miller recommends coming to God like a little child, all messy. Our twins (pictured above) are four and full of questions and excitement over things. They don’t take time to form intricate sentences–they just speak whatever comes to their minds. They often ask us over and over again about things (and then some more). Their child-like joy spills out constantly. If you came over, they would show you their ‘babies’ (also known as little herb seeds sprouting on our porch) or the beetle that visited us this morning, who unfortunately ended up squished in Jacob’s excitement. Although there is a lot for us to teach them, they delight all of us in the cute things they say and in their playful approach to life. I think Miller was getting at this very thing. Sometimes I come to God stiff and formal-like, without thinking of Him as a father who delights in me, as Ben and I do with our children.

As I was praying, the wonderful song Amazing Grace, started playing in my head. I can’t remember ever not knowing this song–I heard it so often as a child. I have seven different versions of it on my computer but my very favorite is Chris Tomlin’s version, where he adds:

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
Will be forever mine.
You are forever mine.

In case anyone else is a visual learner, like me, and would like to see Isaac Newton’s original words, I am pasting them here:

Amazing Grace
Amazing grace!
How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come;
’tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
his word my hope secures;
he will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil, a life of joy and peace.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
bright shining as the sun,
we’ve no less days to sing God’s praise than when we first begun.

July 12, 2013

You know you have twin toddlers in the village when….

by mendibpng

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So some of us sat around our dining room table while this list formed and I realized, some of these things are not unique to Missionary Kids…it’s just toddlers! Adding to the uniqueness of being twins, our littles have the benefit of three older siblings and Luke, an intern living with us this year.
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And….(drum roll please)…..The List

1. ‘Sleeping in’ is a thing you did long ago and can’t remember what it’s like. “Mom! You need to wake up so you can make ours bre-fast!” (Jenny Beth)
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2. They entertain you by funny use of language, including insertion of Tok Pisin words: “That’s not an AIRPLANE, it’s a BALUS!!!!!” (Jacob)

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3. You have a constant stream of hugs and kisses during the day.
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4. You decide that mud is your friend because you see so much of it.
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5. You discipline them for chasing [beloved] village ducks and chickens. In the instance (below) I kept telling Jacob, just look–don’t touch the ducklings!
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6. They wear shoes only once or twice in a month. (sorry mom, if you are reading this!)
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7.They have to know how many sleeps until it’s time to leave the village or a little friend comes back from furlough.
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8.They have a world of make believe that is all their own. For example, they’ve never seen snow so they think that snowmen are evil. “It’s gonna make snowballs and hit us.”
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9. At any time, one of them will make an announcement that covers the both of them like, “we wants to…” or “we don’t like….” In this case, they told me “we wants a snack!” to eat while they watched our neighbor boys build their mama a house.
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10. They love to have ‘jobs’ to do…sometimes they get to do a job with Ben during Daddy Time. Other times, they get to be messengers to their aunties and uncles (our teammates).
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11. They’ve learned to express themselves in relation to good-byes and transition: -“Goodbye village house!” -“I’m gonna ride my bike when I get to ‘A-grumpa” (Ukarumpa) -“I’m going to see my airplane again!” -“I miss my babies!” This is a culvert (outside our house) which Jacob likes to cover with chalk drawings with his Arop friends. It’s one of the things that he considers ‘his’ in his “billage.”
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12. Their real life heroes are missionary pilots who fly helicopters and Kodiak airplanes. On our last trip, pilot Steve buckled Jenny Beth’s baby into the seat with her, “so I wouldn’t lost her under my seat.”
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13. They have a whole duffel bag for special babies (Jacob’s is “Lydia” and Jenny Beth’s is “Mario” and a bear named “Cluh Cluh”), pillows and blankets, labeled “Priority 1”–meaning this one doesn’t get left behind if you are overweight on cargo.
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14.You end up repeating the curious way they use language, like “this is Ba-licious” (delicious) “look!! There’s a heffalump!” (village pig) and my recent favorite: “little twins likes momma’s coffee!”

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My thoughts and ramblings: I don’t really think that my twins really are that different from other three and a half year olds, since I’ve had three other three year olds before. I would say though, that life is INTENSE and chaotic most of the time. When both of my twins are in transition or cranky, I feel like there’s not enough of me to go around. I originally thought that we would have a ‘manageable’ sized family…I remember saying “we’ll only have enough kids that we can take care of well” before Ben and I got married. But God had other plans when he brought two ‘unexpected blessings’ into our family. I wouldn’t change the experience of having the twins because they have expanded my older kids’ capacity to love. They have also changed Ben and me. I have learned to trust God to help me when I didn’t feel like I could be a good mom to five kids (I really can’t, on my own!) and I’ve learned that although I may feel limited right now (as to what I can do for the translation project or in member care with other missionaries) there is plenty of time for that later on. Right now, I am learning contentment in the place God has put me–being a full time wife and mother. Some days I might feel like my life is too hard but then I think, there’s nothing I would rather be doing than what I’m doing right now. I am thankful that God didn’t hold me to my original plan!!

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July 8, 2013

Confessions of a missionary wife: inner voices and building altars

by mendibpng

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About eight months ago, I sat under my mosquito net on my bed (my one place of refuge in our village house) feeling pretty overwhelmed and lost. I looked at all the things I did every day and felt like I couldn’t do anything well. I would drag myself out of bed only to retreat to it as soon as I completed my ‘mom’ duties each day. In a word, I felt miserable. The causes are complicated and difficult to explain in concrete terms but I think it boiled down to me trying to navigate being a wife, mother, missionary and friend all alone. I pictured myself on an empty island. By myself. Daily I was being poured out, piece by piece, and never having the time or energy to put me back together. Every meltdown I had in the privacy of my room took me a step closer to burnout, and I couldn’t fix myself anymore.

It took hours of talking with Ben and others to figure out what I really really wanted. Purpose. Inner Peace. I read a book that one of our churches sent to us called “Pathway to Purpose” and all of a sudden it clicked. I needed something to hang on to…something that tied it all together. I started praying that God would show me His purpose for my life: what it was that I needed to walk in obedience to Him and love it at the same time? He showed me that I needed to stop ignoring myself. In the busy-ness of caring for others, I let myself get poured out to the point that I didn’t know who I was anymore.

So in the months that followed, I’ve tried to notice more, speak up for myself if needed and (gulp!) ask for help if needed. Part of that meant battening down the boundaries with my kids and requiring more from them. I’ve been praying for their character growth and asking God to help me teach them things like self sufficiency (anti-entitlement), humility, gratitude and serving others. I realize now that doing everything for my kids isn’t really the way I want to love them. This applies no only to my kids but also my husband. It turns out, he’s been willing and able to help me: I just made it look like I didn’t need anything from him. It’s a little hard to admit I can’t do everything myself, but I’m finding that I love doing things with him together and relying on his expertise and strength. That man doesn’t give up when something is hard. Never. (just look at our water tank that he has fixed FIVE times!)

I’ve dabbled in these ideas for years now, but only since that time 8 months ago have I really started choosing to listen to my inner voices.

The result? I am not sure yet…practically speaking I’m adjusting and growing. We as a family try to speak truth in love and to be authentic here. I’m looking for ways to navigate the chaos and find inner rest by trusting my feelings rather than ignoring them. I still struggle with compulsive caregiving and neglecting myself but I think I’m catching myself more quickly than before. I don’t always feel happy all the time (which is ok!) but Jesus is giving me that inner peace that I wanted so badly. I’ll end with a poem that I love that caused me to build the altar all the months ago.

Building an Altar

I have not listened
to my inner voices,

I have trampled
on sacred ground

I have chosen to tie up
the strong woman

and allowed my house
to be robbed.

Let this place be marked

I will gather stones,
heavy and rough edged,
and build an altar, here,
at this place in my life,

to honor the Spirit
who has led me

to this sacred ground where
the strong woman listens

to her Inner voices.

Carol Tyx (in May/June 1991 issue of Daughters of Sarah)

July 5, 2013

Confessions of a missionary wife: I choose JOY….

by mendibpng

Our lives have been full of ups and downs in the weeks gone by. There have been nights where my mind has been too busy to let me sleep. There have been moments weeks ago when grief became too much for me or when I was too exhausted from transition, packing and sickness to do much of anything. Added to that, we had some big decisions looming in the distance which felt difficult to navigate. I took a break from blogging and other social media and retreated to the safe haven of a few of my closest friends. But yesterday when I was going through our pictures from that time period, I felt a small whisper in my spirit to “choose joy…” In other words, I choose not to let those things keep me down. As someone said to me recently, even my worst day is probably not equal to someone else’s best day.

(Today was a GOOD day by the way, in case the above paragraph is making anyone question my sanity…although, on any given day it’s a perfectly legitimate question of a mom of five of my own kids plus one intern!) 🙂

So here are the pictures from our month in Ukarumpa that made me smile and remember to choose joy:

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Jacob and Jenny Beth dancing at an Aussie Bush Dance in Ukarumpa. She was pirouetting around like a princess while he was break dancing and thrashing about!

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Josiah and the rest of his 8th grade class put on a Living History Museum for the 3rd and 4th graders…Josiah and his friend Amechi’s booth? The Gladiators–where kids could fight with foam sticks on a gymnastics mat. Needless to say it was a hit!

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Ellie’s class put on several reader’s theater plays, one of which she wrote. She wrote “The Resurrection” play when we were in the village in May.

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Noah turned twelve in June. We celebrated as a family on the day with his requested Vietnamese rice paper spring rolls, then a sleepover the next night with tacos and Avengers movie with a few of his buddies, and finally the next week at the Boutique Hotel in Wewak where we had a rare treat of eating at a restaurant! We sure celebrated that boy this year!!

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Oh and here are my girlies wearing their cute outfits from their Grandma Vivien!

September 1, 2012

Life is messy

by mendibpng

Our second week in the village has nearly come to an end. Sure enough, we have progressed from the neutral zone of transition (where we feel like we haven’t settled in mentally/emotionally/physically yet) and now feel comfortable with our surroundings. Everything is better: school, cooking, just daily living. The translators began translating 1 Timothy. (yay!)

That brings me to my next thought: life is messy.

Several times during the week we have had rain, which brings endless fun to our children, which I wrote about a while back.  With the rain comes mud. But the upside is, we have plenty of water and less of those steamy hot sauna-like days as I like to call them.

Along with the physical mess we deal with from day to day, there is constant talking and commotion in our house from our family alone. Not to mention the dogs fighting outside our window or the rooster that just crowed underneath Beth’s house just now. Oh wait, there’s another one near the front of the house!

And finally, there is the emotional drain of dealing with translators who are sick (quite a few have fallen ill this week) and several culturally stressful issues. I cannot write about the culture stress publicly–the internet is now accessible in so many places, including here in the jungle (a cell phone company has come in now) but lets just say Ben could use prayer just about now for one of these issues! Because we are the outsiders, it is often difficult to foster healthy relationships in a place that sees us as a never-ending supply of aid…and not only that, we are an easy target if someone wants to show how important their problem is, even if their problem doesn’t involve us.

But all I have to do is look at the kids God gave us to realize that the messy life we live is full of blessing. Sure they are noisy, sometimes they fight and yes, they often have mud fights. One day I’ll look around my empty house and miss all of it. I am sure I will even think “it wasn’t as messy as I thought it was at the time!” It’ll just be Ben and me…all wrinkly and lonely.  So today I’m going to focus on the task ahead of me…that is…getting through the day. And I’m going to ask God to help me do it.

August 22, 2012

navigating transition…

by mendibpng

“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” C. Kingsley

I used to think that change was exciting. I welcomed the idea of getting on an airplane and traveling thousands of miles to an unknown land. Meeting new people excited me and although I found some things hard, I remember feeling invigorated by all of the adjustments I had to make.

Now that I’m only a couple of years away from 40, change and transition are different for me. I like being in one place for months at a time. I like being able to put up curtains and pictures on the wall.  Although I crave stability, I also have a itching to travel occasionally…as long as I can get back ‘home’. Growing up as a missionary kid, I learned that being numb whenever there was a transition or goodbye kept me from experiencing the pain of it. Now that I’m an adult I see how destructive denying feelings can be, not just to myself but to others I live with.

As I pondered the emotional moments I had today, I came up with a few things that I’ve gleaned along the way. It’s not rocket science…more so common sense and perhaps obvious to the rest of the world…but since I come back to it over and over I guess it’s worth writing down.

  •  Transition is exhausting. Before we got to the village, there’s a flurry of packing and sleep deprivation. The most common thoughts are, “what do I need for the next 6 weeks?” and “did I bring enough food?”  I realize that for me, once I arrive, I need to build in time to nap and go to bed early even though there’s food to be unpacked, school to start and a house to clean. Also if I can keep my meal preparation easy and expectations low for a few days, I do much better.
  • Transition is ‘letting go’  I have to grieve the things or people I’ve left behind. On Sunday I said goodbye to several friends who will not be in Ukarumpa when I get back. My daughter said goodbye to her best friend, and it was heartbreaking. I tell my kids, it’s ok to be sad—that is how we can move through it. Acknowledging our feelings is the first step. Additionally, there’s the other ‘little’ things to let go of: using a microwave, going to the store, and being able to talk to people in my own language. (the last one is silly because I can call anyone I like on Skype out here, but it’s not the same as seeing them in person!) Even though they are seemingly inconsequential, it does help to acknowledge that I miss them. On the other hand, if I start obsessing about missing something then it’s a short jump away from self pity, not a fun state for me to be in!
  • Transition is disorienting. After 13 years of parenting kids in constant transition, I know enough now that a two year old who cries a lot during the first week of a village stay is behaving normally. Shoot, I cry a lot during the first few days of arriving, especially on the first day of homeschooling! I try to give my kids extra grace and work on explaining how transition is affecting all of us. The older kids tend to bicker a lot because they aren’t used to being around each other 24-7. They just need time to adjust to each other.
  • Transition is a chance to be honest. I have learned a lot about myself in the middle of transition. Perhaps the strong feelings that transition brings on makes me more vulnerable, but it also makes me want God in my life more. It makes me want to love my husband and kids better. The selfish bits tend to hang out, don’t they, in transition?
  • Transition can be an opportunity to start a new thing. I decided that I was going to do more fun things with my kids this time in the village. Normally I work really hard all day and crash in the evening. Tonight I had finished almost everything I wanted to do and sat down to play Bananagrams with Noah and Ellie. I surprised myself by enjoying it! Sometimes I just need to nudge myself past the exhaustion and expectations.
  • Transition is an opportunity to practice good self care. I tend to get caught up in the ‘doing’ for everyone else…wiping bottoms, fixing meals, negotiating arguments, etc., but I can easily forget to eat or take a few minutes break for myself with a cup of coffee.
  • Transition is a chance to invite God into all of the above. He knows better than I do what I am feeling and what I need. He can help me navigate all of the exhaustion, disorientation and grief of letting go.

I think the best advice that I’ve ever heard about transition when I took a course a few years back from Russ Rogers was to ‘pay attention’.  He emphasized noticing what is going on around you. I’m trying to do that and to help my kids navigate what’s going on for them too.

“The last of the human freedoms–to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” V. Frankl

I like this quote because I need to be reminded that I am not helpless. I can choose God. I can choose to have a good attitude. And I can choose to make the best of my circumstances. It does help that the job we have here has purpose–we’ve invested in this Bible translation work–this makes everything worthwhile.  It doesn’t mean that I pretend I’m doing great when I’m really not…but I have the chance within myself to make good choices and to trust Ben with all of those negative feelings. Down through the years he has been good about letting me debrief without having to ‘fix’ me.

and one more  final quote from Roger’s transition class..

“Here is the test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t” R. Bach

August 1, 2012

welcome to the teenage years!

by mendibpng

A couple of weeks ago, Josiah turned 13, making him a teenager! Wow. It’s hard to believe that my sweet cuddly little boy is growing up. I’m sure most, if not every parent feels like the years have slipped by quickly…well…it’s happening here too. He’s learning to  discern for himself what is right and wrong. He is beginning to make good boundary choices with his time. Now is the time for us to give him room to grow and make those decisions himself so that when he leaves our home he will have some tools in place to do so. Once in a while, when I see him making mature decisions, I feel a sense of relief but also a teeny bit of loss. He needs us still but not in the way he did when he was little. So all that to say, Happy 13th Birthday Josiah. May you continue to grow to become a man who loves God and loves others well.

the first order of the day was to give Joe a guitar  amp we had sent by sea many many months ago!

Ben helped test out all the different settings while Joe played. Not sure who had more fun, dad or son…

Later that afternoon, we rented the community waterslide for his birthday party

Hold onto your glasses!

Ellie took a couple of turns before it got too cold!

Afterwards, Joe and friends all came up to our house, changed and ate pizza rolls and popcorn. Here he is blowing out candles on his desert pizza. Oh, and they finished off the night with a loud game of Quelf. If you’ve never played this hilarious board game, I  highly recommend you try it.

July 23, 2012

Are you weary?

by mendibpng

Tonight I heard Ben singing songs and reading a Bible story to the twins, and I thought about how wonderful it was that he was doing that while I cleaned up the kitchen. I literally haven’t read them anything today. After I cleaned the counters and mopped up the spills on the floor, I thought grumpily, “I’m just gonna have to do this again tomorrow.” I didn’t spend hours cooking today (that was yesterday!) but I did spend a lot of my waking hours taking the twins to use the potty.

It’s easy for me to go from being thankful for the abundance in my life to letting the mundane things of life overwhelm me. All it takes is one of the twins crying for a drink, and the other one pipes in…while they are crying, another child needs something and pretty soon it appears that all five of them need something at once. To be fair, school started last week so after 8:30 in the morning on school days all I have left at home are the twins.  Today, however, was a school holiday so all of the kids were home. One of my children (who will remain unnamed) began whistling. Another one left papers and trash in an area where I had just cleaned and all of my emotions started going haywire. With each annoyance, my internal frustration mounted. I thought to myself “I’m overreacting. What is wrong with me??” It finally hit me. I realized it was nearly 11:00 am and I hadn’t eaten anything!!  Funnily enough, when I started telling Ben the story at lunch, before I got to the epiphany, he asked “did you forget to eat?”  We both started laughing.

A little splash of grace came when a good friend of mine stopped by unexpectedly just as I finished making my omelet.  She’s the kind of person who doesn’t care about my messy house and really just came to see me. So when she showed up, I realized that having another adult to tell my ‘mundane’ story to made a huge difference in my outlook.

Here is the crux of the matter for me. It’s rather simple. Eating and sleeping are essential to me being a happy mother. When my basic self care measures are in place, I feel more equipped to deal with any adversity and yes, even silly things like whistling! I apologized to one of my kids, and I realized he had no idea what was tumbling around in this head of mine…I was a time bomb that nobody besides me knew about!  Added to the self care plan is just plain old thankfulness. If some small thing can send me spiralling into self pity, then one of those things or all of them are usually the culprit.

A friend of mine recently gave me a devotional called “Jesus Calling” that I would highly recommend to any mom of small children. I keep it in the bathroom because that is the one place I have at least a couple of minutes to myself every day. Here’s an entry I loved:

Rest in my presence when you need refreshment. Resting is not necessarily idleness as people often percieve it. When you relax in My company, you are demonstrating trust in Me. Trust is a rich word, laden with meaning and direction for your life. I want you to lean on, trust and be confident in Me.  When you lean on Me for support, I delight in your trusting confidence.

Many people turn away from Me when they are exhausted. They assoicate Me with duty and diligence, so they try to hide from My Presence when they need a break from work. How this saddens Me! As I spoke through My prophet Isaiah: In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength.   (Sarah Young)

Proverbs 3:5, Isaiah 30:15

And with that, I’m heading to bed because I need to get three kids off to school bright and early tomorrow and get those twins to the potty every 15-20 minutes. Or I might take them to our lovely little daycare and start potty training again in the afternoon.

 

 

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