I’ve been thinking a lot about Heaven lately. At least once a day and sometimes more, I feel the ache of missing someone I love. It doesn’t matter that I live in Papua New Guinea. I would feel the same way if I were back in the U.S. because I would be missing family in other parts of the world. I wish I could share in the greatest joys, like when my cousins got married (and we couldn’t attend) or when loved ones celebrate the birth of new babies. Oh how I wish I could give little Katie (and other babies that I haven’t met) a cuddle! I wish I could see her mama laughing at her antics and share in those moments.
Added to that, it’s also really hard to be here when our loved ones are struggling with a great difficulty or dealing with the grief and loss. I wish I could physically be present for them during those times. Instead, I resign myself to saying a prayer and sending them a quick email or Facebook message.
When I think about heaven, I think about how much I long to see Jesus finally face to face. I wonder if He will look like the friend I’ve pictured all these years of knowing him.
I also think about all the friends and family who are dear to me, and how we will have such great reunions once we get There. I know I can’t sit down and have a cuppa with those of you on the other side of the world right now, or my sisters, who are in the same time zone but who live miles away…but if I can just keep my gaze on eternity, I know there will be so many opportunities to be together AND there will be no more goodbyes!
Some days the sadness starts to creep up on me, (it happens often when I see status updates or pictures on Facebook) I work at being thankful for the people I DO see every day. Sometimes it’s easy to focus on what is NOT rather than what IS. And even though I can’t see Him, Jesus is right here. He knows the grief and pain of what we humans go through, although ours pales in light of what he went through. I often try to escape the feelings but I have found that they just weigh me down. Soooo…for me, I have to stop and embrace the loneliness for a bit, tell Jesus about it and let it go.
And now I’m off to do some serious playdoughing with my three year old twins, who are with me every day. Some day they will go off to school like their big brothers and sister and I’m gonna (for sure!) remember how little they were, and how they seem to appear everywhere I go in the house. My best moment this morning was looking down at Jacob who had squeezed into a comfy chair with me this morning, just content to be close to me. That’s the way I want to think about Jesus every day.